Learn How To Speak Democrat
Mr. Speaker, in the interest of legislative process whereby we hear many speeches on the floor, many Members talk to their constituents, I am going to try to bring a bit of enlightenment to this process with the use of a technological…
Mr. Speaker, in the interest of legislative process whereby we hear many speeches on the floor, many Members talk to their constituents, I am going to try to bring a bit of enlightenment to this process with the use of a technological device known as a ruler and charts.
We are going to learn how to speak Democrat today, speaking local Democrat.
Often we heard the word ``progressive,'' which translates into ``regressive.'' As used in a sentence, ``Democrats are progressive.'' The translation, ``Democrats are regressive.''
We hear the word ``change,'' which means ``the 1970s.'' ``Democrats will bring you change.'' Translation, ``Democrats will bring you the 1970s.''
``Government'' means ``socialism.'' ``Democrats support proactive government.'' Translation, ``Democrats support proactive socialism.''
``Enhance revenues'' translates into ``raise taxes.'' ``Democrats will enhance revenues.'' Translation, ``Democrats will raise taxes.''
This is my favorite part. ``The rich means you.'' For example, ``Democrats will only tax the rich.'' Translation, ``Democrats will only tax you.'' Ouch.
``Invest'' translates into ``waste.'' Again, used in a sentence, ``Democrats will invest your money.'' Translation, ``Democrats will waste your money.''
``Energy'' means ``lethargy.'' ``Democrats have an energy policy.'' Translation, ``Democrats have a lethargy policy.''
``Green-collar jobs'' translates into ``unemployment.'' ``Democrats will replace your blue-collar jobs with green-collar jobs'' translates into ``Democrats will replace your blue-collar jobs with unemployment.''
Speaking global Democrat. ``Diplomacy'' equals ``magic.'' ``Democrats will protect America from Iranian nukes through tough principled diplomacy'' translates into ``Democrats will protect America from Iranian nukes through tough principled magic.''
``Engaged'' means ``appease.'' ``Democrats will engage America's enemies.'' Translation, ``Democrats will appease America's enemies.''
Importantly, ``end'' means ``lose.'' ``Democrats will end the Iraq war.'' Translation, ``Democrats will lose the Iraq war.''
Finally, contextually construing electoral Democrat, i.e., walking the party plank. This is a graduate-level course.
``As a progressive party, Democrats will bring you change by using government to enhance revenues from the rich to invest in the production of energy and green-collar jobs and by using diplomacy to engage America's enemies and end the Iraq war.''
The translation, ``As a regressive party, Democrats will bring you the 1970s by using socialism to raise taxes from you to waste in the production of lethargy and unemployment, and by using magic to appease America's enemies and lose the Iraq war.''
I hope this exercise has been instructive.