Madam Speaker, I rise today to pay tribute to a dear friend and mentor of mine, Raymond Thayer Donovan, who passed away on May 10, 2008. A World War II vet and engaged civic leader, Ray stood at the center of Connecticut politics. I, along…
Madam Speaker, I rise today to pay tribute to a dear friend and mentor of mine, Raymond Thayer Donovan, who passed away on May 10, 2008. A World War II vet and engaged civic leader, Ray stood at the center of Connecticut politics. I, along with the entire State, mourn this great loss. It is with great honor that I submit for the Congressional Record remarks made at his funeral by Kevin Brown and myself. Through these words, we remember the life and spirit of a truly great man.
Kevin Brown
First and foremost, I'd like to thank Louise and the family
for the honor of being able to say a few works today in
remembrance of Raymond. Like so many of you, I loved him very
much.
I know that Raymond would have wanted me to be brief. For
his sake, I will try. But it won't be easy. When Shelley
called and asked me to speak today she told me that the
family thought that I might be someone who could best tell
Raymond's story. Try as I might, I couldn't do it. I felt
like I was telling my story.
You see, all of my memories of Raymond are about what he
did for me, how he helped shape my life, what he taught me,
and the example he set. I finally realized that telling
Raymond's story is so hard because it was never about him; it
was always about the people in his life. Raymond was the most
unselfish person I've ever met. For him, it was never about
power, recognition, success or wealth. His greatest source of
satisfaction came from helping others. He was never out front
claiming the credit. He moved through the world without
making any noise but his fingerprints were everywhere. He was
always encouraging. He made us feel appreciated and a part of
something.
More importantly, Raymond had this unique capacity to gaze
at a room full of people and sense who was feeling left out,
who was drifting from the group and who needed to be touched.
Without us ever realizing why, he would suddenly appear as
you turned to leave. And he would ask you to stay, telling
you how smart you were, how much you were needed, and how
proud he was of you. And once he knew you were back in the
fold, he'd disappear just as suddenly and be on his way to
make someone else fell important and wanted. And he did this
without ever asking you to follow him. Quite to the contrary,
he'd try to convince you to lead on the promise that he would
follow. It was his re-assurance that made so many of us
confident to take such bold steps in our lives.
In fact, of one thing I am sure: Raymond never saw himself
as a leader. If the truth be told, he was a shepherd. Someone
who guided so many people through the journey of life,
showing us the way and watching over us, making sure that, if
possible, no harm came to us. And when we stumbled or fell,
he was there to pick us up, dust us off and send us back on
our way.
Whether it was his family or the Lions Club, the fourth
district, the folks at Latimere Point, his co-workers at the
State Capitol, or for that matter, anyone who knew him.
Raymond was their shepherd, that silhouette of a man off on
the hillside watching over us. A man who gave much and asked
for so little; and someone who taught us the power of
humility, integrity, and forgiveness.
Being a shepherd can be lonely. Standing watch can be a
heavy burden. Every shepherd needs a star to guide them, a
point in the distance, ever true, to fix upon, to draw
strength from, and point the way. Raymond had Louise. She was
his North Star and he knew he was her knight in shining
armor. She was his greatest source of strength and her
unconditional love was his greatest reward in life. Together,
they helped us all endure our moments of doubt and enjoy
ourselves along the way.
The last time that Raymond and I spoke was last year at a
wonderful memorial service that my sister held for my mom in
Saybrook. As always, Raymond was smiling and so happy to see
me. He told me how proud he was of me and what a wonderful
person I was. He spoke fondly of how wonderful my mom was and
what a great job she did raising us. This morning, I thought
how ironic it was for that to be the last time I'd see
Raymond. I realized that so many people go through the
journey of life and never have a shepherd to watch over them.
And I had two: Raymond and my mom.
Raymond, I hope that this wasn't too long!! I tried to tell
your story as briefly as I could. And Raymond, I want you to
know I've made the journey this far with your help and
without you, I might surely have lost my way.
John Larson
A great light went out of our lives, and created an
indescribable void and pang that only the warm memory of such
a wonderful man can console us. On behalf of U.S. Senator
Dodd and myself, it was an honor to fly a flag over the
United States Capitol in memory of this Navy Veteran, elected
official, and public servant. Ray Donovan's life defined
civic commitment, love of country, and love of family.
My father will be gone 20 years this October. Ray and he
were great friends. Ray Donovan made sure in my father's
absence that he took time to share with me and my brothers
and sisters the fond memories about my father. As all of my
family can attest, Ray was a man of letters, a great writer,
and conveyor of sentimentality and the human condition. His
letters would always give you pause and make you reflect. In
those letters he never failed to mention some anecdote about
Dad and how proud he would be. He went out of his way to
honor us, by honoring the memory of our father, and his
friend. I am humbled to be asked to remember him today.
I heard of Ray and Louise Donovan long before I ever met
them. Growing up in East Hartford, Democratic politics played
a huge roll. For me, they were lessons learned at my mother's
knee. They were, after all, the generation who elected John
Kennedy. . . . The Donovans were kitchen table conversation
at the Larson's house long before I ever met them in person.
My mother would talk of Ray Donovan in the most respectful
tone. What a gentleman! What a thoughtful, intelligent man!
What a loyal and good friend! What patience, what a calming
force!
Through Mom's eyes and words we learned of a man who seemed
like John Forsythe, Jimmy Stewart, and Ozzie Nelson rolled up
into one. He did not disappoint . . .
Louise and Ray . . . like . . . well . . . Tracey and
Hepburn; Fred Astaire and Ginger Rodgers, or as we say in
East Hartford, Herb and Reggie; Burns and Allen; Ricky and
Lucy; Bill and Hillary, or Nikki and Bill: take your pick . .
. in East Hartford; it was Louise and Ray, the political
power couple of the day! Louise, unafraid to assert her view
and giving new meaning to the word candor, Ray, diplomatic
and ever gracious. They were quite a team. Whether it was
Democratic politics, the Lion's Club, cookouts at Latimer
Point, or serving the clam chowder at Bocce, they were
inseparable.
They were at the epicenter of the Democratic Party in its
hey-day in East Hartford. I still can recall the elegance and
class of the dances on Founder's Plaza, under the moonlight,
overlooking the Connecticut River and the Hartford skyline.
Yet the most coveted invitation in town was the afterglow
party at Walter Place! What a wonderful time it was, what a
wonderful couple they made. If you close your eyes, you can
still see the gala of that night unfold. Jimmy Fitz was at
his zenith, Dick & Terry Blackstone, Timmy & Rosemary
Moynihan, Ann & Toni Fornibi, Larry & Joe Delponte, Dick &
Peg Torpey, Frank & Shirley, John & Ellie Fitzgerald, Gigi &
Tony Roberto, Ray & Pauline, Rita &
Don, Julie & Herb . . . and at the center of it all, Ray and
Louise. I can still hear the music and laughter echoing into
the summer's night.
I always got a kick out of the fact that Paul Landerman's
Orchestra would play at the dance and Paul Maynard, a
Republican Councilman, and good friend of many Democrats, was
playing in the band as the Democrats tore up the pavement to
``In the Mood.'' It was the coming out party of the year.
Shelley, Kevin, Sue Maynard, Paul's daughter, and I were
all classmates in high school when our parents served on the
town council. It's an awkward thing when your parents are in
office in some respects. It was a different time, perhaps
because we Democrats had a 4-1 registration advantage, but it
seemed like Republicans and Democrats just got along better.
I know for Shelley, Susan and myself, we might have given the
eye roll at the mention of their elected office, but we
respected their service and were proud of them.
My Dad and Ray drove back and forth to work at Pratt &
Whitney Aircraft in North Haven for several years. They had a
lot in common; both were Navy Veterans serving on the
aircraft carriers, for my Dad, the Franklin and for Ray, the
Midway. Both were firefighters in the Navy, both worked at
tool and dye shops after the war. Both married well, and
their families were the center of the universe.
They were, however, different. Ray and Raymond, the R&R
Express. Try to imagine riding in that car with Dad and Ray.
It would be like listening to a conversation between Archie
Bunker and Fred McMurray. Ray Donovan, more urbane,
sophisticated and measured; Dad, a little rough around the
edges. Dad preferred baseball caps, flannel shirts and
playing the organ at the Elks to Ray's shirt, tie and
occasional sweater, and service to the Lions. Ray loved the
dialogue, the give and take of politics, while Dad was
skeptical of the whole process. One thing my father wasn't
skeptical of, though, was the honesty and decency of Ray
Donovan. My father loved Ray Donovan, their companionship,
and their camaraderie during those trips back and forth to
North Haven fortified the unique bond they shared. What I
would give for a tape recording of those journeys. It
would be prime material for a Normal Lear comedy.
I have a feeling, though, Dad was one of the first to greet
Ray as they embark on another journey. It's a safe bet they
picked up the conversation where they left off, catching up
on their families.
Much has been written of their generation. Ray epitomized
what has rightfully been called the Greatest Generation, and
represents all that is rich about the lives our parents led.
A child of the Depression, a veteran of the World War, a
builder of a community, who selflessly served the Democratic
Party, as Forth District Chairman, member of the Board of
Education, the Town Council, and the Lion's Club, and the
V.F.W. Proud of his Irish heritage and proud to be called a
Democrat! Ray was a devoted husband, loving father and
enduring friend. I was never around him when he didn't talk
about his family or ask about mine.
Ray Donovan was more than an advisor or mentor. Those well-
meaning words don't do him justice. He led by his example. He
was the listening ear, the sympathetic heart, the person of
firm resolve and conviction, patient and willing to forgive,
the calm, assured inward strength that formed a constant you
know that was there for you.
What he did for me and all who sought his council was lead
by example. No task was beneath him, no person nor cause not
worthy of his effort. He met everyone with a welcoming smile,
an outstretched hand, and always a word of encouragement that
was his trademark.
He never spoke of material possession. What others saw as
life's benchmarks of success, new cars or homes, never
interested him. I never heard him speak ill of anyone, he was
a source of positive energy whose approval you sought and
wanted.
It is said that we stand on the shoulders of other who have
come before us. Ray Donovan's shoulders were broad enough for
all of us to stand upon. Emerson wrote what most men led
lives of quiet desperation and go to the grave with a song
still in them. Ray Donovan led a life that was resolute and
content, his song and life was one of quiet inspiration. An
inspiration that was contagious because it came by way of his
own example. I heard him say often of many people but never
with such pride as when he would say of Louise with a broad
smile and quiet satisfaction, ``Isn't that Louise
something.'' We pause today to say, ``Wasn't that Ray
something.'' We miss you. We love you. Say hi to Dad for me.